Dark Lullaby by Polly Ho-Yen

Author:Polly Ho-Yen [Ho-Yen, Polly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Titan

THEN

Thomas showed me his paintings.

He painted in the hours when he was not at work, either early in the morning or late into the night.

Faces, never turned towards the painter, caught in a moment. It felt almost voyeuristic looking at them, as though I was spying on someone. I stopped in front of one, just the profile of a face, tilted downwards in thought. There was something about the sweep of the hair, how it framed the face in a line, the shape of the cheek.

‘That’s me,’ I exclaimed.

Thomas nodded. ‘It was after we first met. First ever met. At Evie and Seb’s.’

‘Really? You painted this after that?’

‘That very night. Smelling of burnt sausages.’

It was like the final piercing of the arrow, the killing shot.

‘I love you,’ I told him. It was too early to say the words, even though it was how I felt. I remembered coldly how they’d lost their lustre with Roger, and how I didn’t want to say them aloud to Thomas and not mean it, fully, completely and utterly. I didn’t want them to become haggard with time, shapeless with familiarity.

‘I bloody hope so,’ Thomas said back. ‘I mean… I love you too. But I think you knew that. Without me having to say.’ He kissed me lightly on the lips and then left me in front of the portrait he had made of me.

I couldn’t stop examining it. I ran my fingers over the ridges the paint made. I traced the line of my face that Thomas had captured, my eyes never leaving the shape of the profile, as though she might disappear if I turned away.

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